Jekyll2023-10-03T08:34:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/feed.xmleven the horse knewThe personal ramblings of Brian Exelbierd and not his employers.Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgIntentionally losing things and the curse of backlogs2023-09-29T09:29:00+00:002023-09-29T09:29:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/09/29/losing-things-backlogs<h2 id="use-it-or-lose-it">Use it or lose it</h2>
<p>I’ve started to use more systems where “losing things is a feature not a bug”. For example, I take almost all of my notes in <a href="https://obsidian.md/">Obsidian</a>. Because the notes are all in one system they are findable again if they are important. They’ll tend to surface themselves when I write about related topics as I often start by searching for the note I have a vague memory of making (real or not). Critically though, I can write things down to get them out of my mind and not worry about them. I wasn’t going to take any real action today and I may never take any real action and that is OK!</p>
<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/l1J3Psr9HDSvRThsY" width="480" height="290" frameborder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/latelateshow-james-corden-late-show-l1J3Psr9HDSvRThsY">via GIPHY</a></p>
<p>Using Archive and not Delete in email gets to the same place. Archive lets me safely lose email when there is no defined next step. Search is really good these days and the future being created by LLMs and other AI projects promise to make it better. Besides, at least for email, if it was important someone will bring it up in a conversation, reply to the thread, or forward it to you again to helpfully “bump it to the top of your Inbox.”</p>
<p>Getting comfortable with losing things is difficult. As we grow though we are given two super powers for this quest. First, we naturally start losing some things and having to develop systems to be intentional about not losing them. My keys go to the same place every day (period). If my keys aren’t there, they may as well be on the mooon.</p>
<p>Second, we learn that the senior folks in our organizations aren’t amazing folks who never lose things. What they are, are amazing folks who have learned what, like my keys, must not be lost, and what can be allowed to be set “free.” No one ever shames them for not having a specific email at hand or having to dig up an old unpublished draft. Those are just not the critical components of success. If you can find every email but you can’t synthesize them, you’re not going to be successful.</p>
<h2 id="backlogs-are-bad">Backlogs are bad</h2>
<p>Intentionally losing things follows the pattern of having one place where the “mess” is. It lets you both not have to look at a bunch of messy piles and gets the clutter out of sight. This is where backlogs usually fail.</p>
<p>A bunch of productivity methodologies preach the value of the backlog. You’re given instructions on how to form it, groom it, and manage it. What I think is left unsaid is that most stuff in your backlog probably shouldn’t be there. This is where the fail comes from.</p>
<p>Your backlogs will tend to get filled with ideas that you may do “someday,” where someday is often triple digit days away, if it even happens before the heat death of the solar system. Like with my notes, a good idea you would have sent to the backlog will organically resurface if it becomes important.</p>
<p>When you put something in your backlog, you need to have made the commitment to taking action on it. You’re not parking it for later review or consideration, your making it work to be done. If you’re not ready to make that commitment, “lose it.” Good ideas come back. The market keeps begging for good ideas. Good ideas don’t stay lost.</p>
<p>Your email archive and notes app can have junk drawers. Your backlog is not a junk drawer.</p>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgUse it or lose itEasily see your declined events in Google Calendar2023-09-27T12:33:00+00:002023-09-27T12:33:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/technology/2023/09/27/declined-events<p>There are lots of reasons to decline a meeting invitation … honestly, way more reasons to decline than to accept. Regardless of your criteria, there will come a time when you need to look back on the meetings you missed to get recordings to watch or survey the wreckage.</p>
<p>At work we use Google Calendar and I have always been frustrated that my choices were to see decline events littering my calendar or to have to follow the frustrating procedure of:</p>
<ul>
<li>Make 5 clicks to enable showing declined events</li>
<li>Navigate back to the dates of interest</li>
<li>Make 5 more clicks to disable showing declined events</li>
</ul>
<p>But friends, there is now a better way!</p>
<p><img src="/img/2023/show-declined-events.png" alt="Google Calendar menu to show declined events" /></p>
<p>That’s right. Some kind soul at Google added this to the display menu in the top-right of the calendar. I found it by accident so you don’t have too.</p>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgNot every declined event is to be forgottenMan Rides Tram2023-09-14T08:11:00+00:002023-09-14T08:11:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/09/14/man-rides-tram<p>Warning: This is not deep</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I half-heartedly worry that someone is listening to me talk to my daughter and their English is being ruined.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I take my daughter to preschool every day. She is 4 and sometimes the trip to school starts with tears or resistance. One way to manage this with young children is to distract them. We’ve absolutely talked about this directly, worked on it directly, and have evaluated if there is a cause for concern. But, in the moment, distraction is your best friend.</p>
<p>My distraction weapon of choice is talking to her. I’ll narrate our journey and what we can see from the tram. I’ll ask questions, make funny noises, and make up rhyming “words” to get her join in. This is all standard parent stuff.</p>
<p>Because we live outside of the US in a non-English first country, I spice my language heavily with idioms. I want her exposed to them even if she doesn’t get them all. I want her to see how the language can be used fluidly for different effects, even if she can’t do them all herself yet or if the idioms themselves are dated. This is why I have half-joked that I worry I am ruining a non-native speaker’s English if they are listening to me on the tram.</p>
<p>Fast forward to yesterday morning. When we got on the tram, there were no seats. So I told my daughter to stand holding the pole and I stood so that she was leaning against me. She is safe and she can do this, but a sudden tram stop is not something she is necessarily on the look out for.</p>
<p>I was also low-key upset with the healthy young 20-somethings all sitting while a 4 year old stood. Suddenly, this gentleman, next to us, turns to me and says she can have his seat … in English.</p>
<p>He was about my age and had an accent that suggested he was a second language English speaker, but one with quite some skill in the language. I was very thankfully and got my daughter seated. I wondered if he was going to say something to all the young people who didn’t give up their seats but didn’t worry with it.</p>
<p>Instead, he says to me, “we’ve met before.” I am bad with names, but usually good with faces. I can’t can’t place this guy.</p>
<p>If you’ve never been around a lot of good second-language speakers before you’ve never experienced the “words don’t mean what you think they mean” phenomena before. By good second-language speakers, I mean people who are really quite good with the language. They have large vocabularies, speak it with ease, and rarely struggle to express themselves. They’re way better than me in Czech, or Polish, or German or … well, you get the point.</p>
<p>An example of this is the false-friend. That is the confusion that since two words in two different languages sound the same, they must have the same meaning. This is why Czech people say “reconstruction” when they mean “remodel.” The Czech’s use the word “rekonstrukce” when they talk about remodeling apartments. It isn’t a perfect match, and there is some nuance, but the false friendship is clear<sup id="fnref:1" role="doc-noteref"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote" rel="footnote">1</a></sup>.</p>
<p>As he kept talking it turned out he didn’t mean that we had actually met before. Which was good because I had no idea who this guy was. It turns out he has just been on the same tram as me before. Apparently, on at least one occasion, my stream of conversation with my daughter caught his ear. According to him my voice is distinctive, resonates, and so on. He put down his reading to listen to my amazing language.</p>
<p>This is the dude whose English I am ruining!</p>
<p>Sort of. It turns out he teaches English (and Czech - but mostly English) and was legitimately just listening to a native speaker not on guard talking. Sadly, he is not good at small talk so my attempts to keep a conversation going were mostly one-sided. We bid each other farewell a few stops later and life rolled on.</p>
<p>I am not really worried I am “ruining” his English, but I do wonder if he told his students about our chat though.</p>
<p>Since you made it this far, here is a bonus 4 year old quote:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Daughter and daddy discuss another child walking by in a spider man suit complete with a full hood mask.<br />
Daddy: Well maybe he is Spider Man.<br />
Daughter: No, he has shoes.</p>
</blockquote>
<div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes">
<ol>
<li id="fn:1" role="doc-endnote">
<p>Another cool one is jahoda in Czech and jagoda in Polish<sup id="fnref:2" role="doc-noteref"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote" rel="footnote">2</a></sup>. The Czech word means strawberry, the Polish one means blueberry. Hilarity with pies ensues. <a href="#fnref:1" class="reversefootnote" role="doc-backlink">↩</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:2" role="doc-endnote">
<p>And yes, many Poles and Czechs are really used to swapping ‘g’ for ‘h’ in words and then rolling on. People are funny like that. <a href="#fnref:2" class="reversefootnote" role="doc-backlink">↩</a></p>
</li>
</ol>
</div>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgNo, not that tramCapacity for Work2023-09-12T10:41:00+00:002023-09-12T10:41:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/09/12/capacity-for-work<p>While sharing some advice with a friend, the concept of capacity for work to come up. I wanted to preserve these thoughts and share them with you.</p>
<p>When we do our own task management and, critically, self-evaluate our productivity we tend to overestimate what we should have gotten done. We might count the completed tick boxes in our to-do list and be angry that we got 15 done yesterday but only 5 done today.</p>
<p>This is wrong. First, we are making the mistake of assuming all tasks are equal. While some systems, such as Kanban, can advocate that all tasks should be the same size, reality isn’t built that way. “Empty the Dishwasher” and “Paint the bedroom” are both legitimate tasks. One will take a lot longer. Sometimes it comes down to happenstance as well. One week my task might be “send the emails about the new initiative” and another it might be two tasks, “send an email to my team about the new initiative” and “send an email to finance about the new initiative.” There will always be two emails written from two different perspectives about the new initiative, however one is a single tick box and the other is two.</p>
<p>Second, the world is what is happening to you while you’re trying to get your work done. Some days I have 6 hours of meetings and some days I have none<sup id="fnref:1" role="doc-noteref"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote" rel="footnote">1</a></sup>. Some weeks have holidays, some don’t. Some months include vacations or children getting sick, some don’t. Your availability to do work is not uniform.</p>
<p>Third, you wake up in a particular state of health every day. Some days you’re doing great and ready to do. Other days you wake up in severe back pain or with a low-grade “ick”<sup id="fnref:2" role="doc-noteref"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote" rel="footnote">2</a></sup> and unable to focus or do as much.</p>
<p>When you put all of these together you are approaching your capacity for work. This is what will really let you know what you can do on any given day. To manage this, I use a slightly modified form of the <a href="https://www.carlpullein.com/">Time Sector System that Carl Pullein</a> created for task management. (I have not taken his course and currently do not intend to. I have gleaned this from his YouTube videos.). I bring it up because it has a novel, to me at least, daily planning component.</p>
<p>Every day you have to categorize tasks into one of 4 buckets:</p>
<ul>
<li>Important and must get done</li>
<li>to be done in the morning</li>
<li>to be done in the afternoon/evening</li>
<li>to be done if there is time</li>
</ul>
<p>Doing this, both in advance and during any daily planning I do, in conjunction with my calendar and my assessment of my mood and fitness has been great. It makes it easy to defer without guilt and to understand when I am overcommitting myself. It also requires some real honesty about how long something is going to take. For me, this works better than other ideas like, schedule everything on your calendar.</p>
<p>This has a secondary benefit of highlighting tasks I keep deferring. I can really revisit if I am ever going to do them or not. As an example, it made it clear to me that I was NEVER going to get a meditation habit because I kept deferring meditation because I didn’t want to do it. Meditation isn’t bad, it just isn’t my jam.</p>
<p>I strongly encourage you to go simplify your task management and highlight just those things you will commit to doing today. Carl’s system is great, but use what you want. The point is to hold yourself accountable for realistic and achievable efforts.</p>
<div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes">
<ol>
<li id="fn:1" role="doc-endnote">
<p>No, I will not tell you when I have a meeting free day. You won’t be able to resist scheduling a meeting on it. <a href="#fnref:1" class="reversefootnote" role="doc-backlink">↩</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:2" role="doc-endnote">
<p>Low-grade ick: (noun) the gift your kid brings you home from school. <a href="#fnref:2" class="reversefootnote" role="doc-backlink">↩</a></p>
</li>
</ol>
</div>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgWhile sharing some advice with a friend, the concept of capacity for work to come up. I wanted to preserve these thoughts and share them with you.rsync+iCloud: A proposal2023-09-05T08:41:00+00:002023-09-05T08:41:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/technology/2023/09/05/rsync-icloud<p>Despite Apple not always having the best track record on service availability (it has gotten WAY better over the years), I remain impressed by iCloud Drive<sup id="fnref:1" role="doc-noteref"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote" rel="footnote">1</a></sup>. If you’re not familiar with it, it is a selectively caching cloud file system. I am sure there is a fancy term for this that I don’t know, if you do email me.</p>
<p>The gist of it is this. When you put a file in your iCloud Folder, it gets copied to an Apple storage server somewhere. Over time, based on use or available disk on your system it may get evicted (removed) from your system. In it’s place is a “bookmark” file that the system understands as a representation of your file. That bookmark allows you to still have access to metadata about your file, all without having to have the file itself taking up space on your drive. If you need the file, attempting to open it will cause it to be downloaded. This is file synchronization on steroids.</p>
<p>Where this whole concept falls apart is backups. Nobody’s backup programs, including Apple’s own Time Machine, can backup evicted files. This means that when you back up your system you aren’t really backing up all of your files.</p>
<p><img src="/img/2023/adam-rsync.png" alt="Adam reminding us that sync is not backup in an iMessage comment" /></p>
<p>As my friend Adam points out, synchronization is not the same as backup. I want both. Therefore I wrote a song:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>🎶I’d like to teach rsync to sync with iCloud Drive seamlessly
I’d like to have a complete backup of my Mac you see<sup id="fnref:2" role="doc-noteref"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote" rel="footnote">2</a></sup>🎶</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Rsync is “a fast, versatile, remote (and local) file-copying tool.” It ships on most Linuxes and on MacOS by default. “Rsync finds files that need to be transferred using a ‘quick check’ algorithm (by default) that looks for files that have changed in size or in last-modified time” For more, <a href="https://download.samba.org/pub/rsync/rsync.1">read the man page</a>.</p>
<p>iCloud Drive preserves access to the required metadata. Here is an abbreviated output from <code class="language-plaintext highlighter-rouge">mdls</code> of an evicted file<sup id="fnref:3" role="doc-noteref"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote" rel="footnote">3</a></sup> :</p>
<div class="language-plaintext highlighter-rouge"><div class="highlight"><pre class="highlight"><code> % mdls .1998-tax-return.pdf.icloud
kMDItemContentCreationDate = 2018-08-28 18:32:24 +0000
kMDItemContentCreationDate_Ranking = 2021-11-05 00:00:00 +0000
kMDItemContentModificationDate = 2018-08-28 18:32:24 +0000
kMDItemDateAdded = 2021-11-05 15:42:15 +0000
kMDItemDisplayName = "1998-tax-return.pdf"
kMDItemFSContentChangeDate = 2018-08-28 18:32:24 +0000
kMDItemFSCreationDate = 2018-08-28 18:32:24 +0000
kMDItemFSSize = 1929932
kMDItemInterestingDate_Ranking = 2018-08-28 00:00:00 +0000
kMDItemLogicalSize = 1929932
kMDItemPhysicalSize = 1929932
</code></pre></div></div>
<p>This metadata, I think, is enough to pass the rsync quick check described above. Most of the values are <a href="https://developer.apple.com/documentation/coreservices/kmditemfscontentchangedate">documented on the Apple Developer site</a>.</p>
<p>I suspect what needs to happen, from a code perspective, is that rsync needs to be modified to do the following when it finds an evicted file. All evicted files are named consistently, <code class="language-plaintext highlighter-rouge">.<filename>.icloud</code> so they are easy to spot.</p>
<ol>
<li>Perform the system call equivalent of the <code class="language-plaintext highlighter-rouge">mdls</code> above to obtain the appropriate dates and sizes.</li>
<li>If the file cannot be skipped because it either has changed or a checksum is required, perform the system call equivalent of <code class="language-plaintext highlighter-rouge">brctl download <filename></code> to get the file downloaded.</li>
<li>Send the file</li>
<li>If the file was downloaded, perform the system call equivalent of <code class="language-plaintext highlighter-rouge">brctl evict <filename></code> to remove the file to leave the system in the same state.</li>
</ol>
<p>This simplistic algorithm would leave some open issues/caveats:</p>
<ul>
<li>It is likely that the rsync can only be run one-way from iCloud Drive to non-iCloud Drive data storage. While it is possible it could be run two-way research is needed on whether you’d have to download the old file before you replace it.</li>
<li>Timeouts may happen. iCloud Drive still gets stuck sometimes and there will be non-zero time during downloads that don’t get stuck.</li>
<li>There is no guarantee there is ever enough room on disk to hold a specific file from iCloud Drive. This is likely resolved by MacOS directly, however, this may take excessive time.</li>
<li>If you thought running with checksums was slow before, strap in, because those downloads are going to add up.</li>
</ul>
<p>All that said, I feel like this algorithm gets me to a better situation overall. I am not in a position where I expect it to be common for files to be modified without having their size changed or their various dates updated.</p>
<p>I haven’t written C code since college, but I can’t help but wonder how hard this would be.</p>
<div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes">
<ol>
<li id="fn:1" role="doc-endnote">
<p>Dropbox can do this too. Likely others can as well. iCloud Drive’s real win is in how it is fully integrated into the OS. <a href="#fnref:1" class="reversefootnote" role="doc-backlink">↩</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:2" role="doc-endnote">
<p>With apologies to Coke and many many others <a href="#fnref:2" class="reversefootnote" role="doc-backlink">↩</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:3" role="doc-endnote">
<p>Choosing a tax return is so on brand for me, it hurts. <a href="#fnref:3" class="reversefootnote" role="doc-backlink">↩</a></p>
</li>
</ol>
</div>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgThis is all Apple's fault but we can make it workObsidian, podcasts, and more2023-06-08T10:42:00+00:002023-06-08T10:42:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/06/08/obsidian-podcasts-and-more<p>Editor’s Note: This is in the category “Ramblings” for a reason. You are promised a ramble, nothing more.</p>
<p>So Apple announced a bunch of things like VR headsets and stuff. The VR headsets caused <a href="https://blog.samalik.com/2023/06/07/apple-vision-pro.html">Adam</a> to go drop a blog post for the first time in a while and motivated all of us to consider recording another episode of our <a href="https://fractal.fm/">Fractal FM</a> Podcast.</p>
<p>“Wait, what podcast?” you say. Well about <a href="/ramblings/2020/07/13/podcast.html">three years ago</a> we announced a podcast that … well … didn’t have a lot of staying power. We’ve missed it and we’d like to reboot.</p>
<p>We were excited to try today. We started setting up and then … my daughter woke up early and my role as Daddy overrode my role as Podcaster. We may try again tomorrow - let’s see.</p>
<p>And this is where <a href="https://obsidian.md">Obsidian</a> makes an appearance in this ramble. While trying to remember how to setup everything to record the podcast I remembered I had notes on it. I went to Obsidian typed podcast and it was the second hit. <strong>This is huge!</strong></p>
<p>Normally when I take notes on something I file it away very logically in a subfolder on my hard drive to <em>never be seen again.</em> That didn’t happen this time.</p>
<p>This leads me back to Apple. While I didn’t watch the WWDC Keynote, I did watch the “live stream” of it in the group chat <a href="https://puiterwijk.org">Patrick</a>, Adam, and I have. Apple announced a diary app. While I don’t have all the details yet, it sounds like they are going to do some interesting stuff in the space.</p>
<p>I use <a href="https://dayoneapp.com">Day One</a> for journaling. But I also take notes in Obsidian. I have a rough idea of what the difference between a “note” and a “journal entry” is in my head. This is the first time I’ve tried to write it down.</p>
<p>Note: A note is a future-useful document which is about work or mundane personal items. Examples include the aforementioned “How to set up to record the podcast” note and various work and house related items. A note has to have some future value, though future may be defined as “useful for the next hour” as opposed to “useful next year.”</p>
<p>Journal Entry: A note that is a memory oriented item. These are almost 100% personal and are everything from what was in my mind, think “Dear Diary” and what goes on in my life that is deeply personal, think “medical notes from visits to the doctor.”</p>
<p>I am not promising you will like those definitions, but that is how they work for me.</p>
<p>So back to Apple … again.</p>
<p>Patrick commented that the new diary app may cause him to finally get rid of Obsidian all together. Everything would be in the diary or in Apple Notes. From my perspective, Notes is a hot mess when it gets more than a few items in it, however the “everything is a diary entry” idea was intriguing.</p>
<p>Thinking about my personal notes, several of them are essentially one-page diaries. Entries like my record of work I’ve had done on my flat or notes about updates to my personal infrastructure take that form. On disk I have folders of things like internet bills, bank statements and more that are essentially journal entries for a year. Those files in particular are crying out for help. Today they are stored in folders by year and named “DATE-description.pdf” Having them more usefully organized would be nice.</p>
<p>I started dreaming about whether I should move everything into Day One and have a bunch of journals, for example, one for my House and another for each of my banks.</p>
<p>And then this note happened. There is no logical way to store a note about setting up for a podcast in a diary. There is no logical way to find it. I am back to “square one” where I need to make piece with my notes and my journal being separate. The files should likely be that way too. It’s a frustration and a solution. So I should walk away … but maybe you shouldn’t.</p>
<p>If you made it this far, you may want to give serious thought to how the stuff you’re doing works and what it is that you aspire to do. I know people who do their note taking and daily journaling in Obsidian because they cross-link a lot. Some people on the internet also put their to do lists in it. I use <a href="https://todoist.com">Todoist</a> and am quite happy. Then there is that whole category of pdf organizing apps that I have been reluctant to use for fear of losing everything into a hash filenamed mess.</p>
<p>It just shows how you need to balance the paradox of the perfect system and the system that is working. And yes, this last sentence means you have more chapter summaries coming, just as soon as life stops throwing curveballs at me that change my whole schedule around.</p>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgThis is all Apple's faultBoth/And Thinking - Paradox System (Chapter 7)2023-05-22T13:18:00+00:002023-05-22T13:18:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/05/22/Both-And-Thinking-9<p>I’ve started reading <a href="https://bothandthinking.net">Both/And Thinking</a> and am capturing my thoughts here as I go. Right now these are mostly the raw notes as synthesis comes later. You may find it interesting to start with the <a href="https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/04/24/Both-And-Thinking-1">first post</a> in this series or to <a href="https://www.winglemeyer.org/navigation/tags/#Both-And-Thinking">read them all</a>.</p>
<p>Finishing up with the toolbox building, today’s reading, added the enabling dynamism. “Dynamism involves actions that spur learning, enable adaptation, and encourage ongoing shifts between competing demands.”</p>
<p>The Narrative that underpinned much of the chapter was about the 4th CEO and only second non-family member CEO of W. L. Gore. The company was facing the challenge of having a very, deliberately, small-team, employee driven and personal network oriented organization into a multi-billion dollar enterprise that had some need for elimination of redundancy and for the ability to do the same work the same way every time. This is a type of paradox called an organizing paradox, which “reveal[s] conflicts in how we structure our lives and organizations.” This was illustrated by a quote from Terri Kelley, the CEO in question:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>As Kelly told us, “It used to just happen organically as groups would just gather and something innovative would come out, and they would take it and drive it through, and voilà … But when you try to manage multibillion-dollar businesses, there is a lot more discipline and decision-making around investment and global coordination.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>The opening quote really hit the concept of being dynamic:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Today’s successful business leaders will be those who are most flexible of mind. An ability to embrace new ideas, routinely challenge old ones, and live with paradox will be the effective leader’s premier trait. Further, the challenge is for a lifetime. New truths will not emerge easily. Leaders have to guide the ship while simultaneously putting everything up for grabs, which is itself a fundamental paradox. —Tom Peters</p>
</blockquote>
<h2 id="experimenting-using-measured-steps">Experimenting Using Measured Steps</h2>
<p>This is mostly focused on the idea of making plans that are scoped to avoid over investment and force re-evaluations. What I have always thought of sunk-cost fallacy is described by the authors here as escalating commitment. “Even when a behavior, habit, or culture no longer serves our purposes, and even if we know we need to change, we still hold on, afraid to let go of the known and to move into new and uncertain possibilities.”</p>
<p>There is a great illustration of this at IDEA discussing rapid prototyping. The company introduced this concept after discovering that, “Most designers would spend lots of time analyzing the problem and thinking through a solution up front. By the time they created the prototype, they invested so much effort in the process that they would be hesitant to change the design. The prototype no longer served as a tool for dynamic learning and change.”</p>
<p>This is critical because, “[e]xperimentation helps us navigate paradoxes, in part, by exposing hidden synergies.”</p>
<p>A way to to give yourself freedom here may be to think of things not as decisions but as experiments with a fixed time period before re-evaluation. The freedom to both re-evaluate and cancel can overcome escalating commitment and falling into ruts.</p>
<h2 id="preparing-for-serendipity">Preparing for Serendipity</h2>
<p>“As individuals and as leaders, we can create the conditions for serendipity; this approach allows us to engage in novelty and will prevent us from getting stuck in a rut.” The authors define “serendipity as planned luck—finding something valuable when we are not looking for it.” This is critical because people rarely take luck into account, instead believing that preparation and foresight rule all. This is heavily done in retrospective examination of success.</p>
<p>Richard “Pascale has gone on to elaborate on some of the tools that allow for sustained serendipity. These tools include valuing different options, honoring and creating opportunity for debate, and diminishing the power dynamics in a company to allow for input from across the ranks. Pascale and his colleagues describe these practices as cultivating agility. We agree that this dynamism is necessary for long-term success—the planning that allows for luck.”</p>
<h2 id="learning-to-unlearn">Learning to Unlearn</h2>
<p>To learn to unlearn we need to move to a process of double-loop learning.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Harvard professor Chris Argyris, considered one of the founding thinkers of organizational development, describes the challenge that Boyle faced as one of double-loop learning. We practice single-loop learning regularly and nearly automatically. We make a decision, try it out, get feedback, and use the new knowledge to improve our future decisions. Double-loop learning challenges our embedded assumptions, mental models, and decision rules that led us to our decision in the first place. Argyris uses a thermostat as a metaphor. Imagine that a thermostat is set to sixty-seven degrees Fahrenheit. The thermostat monitors the temperature in the room, collects data, and then responds accordingly, adding colder air (or reducing heat) when the temperature is too high and adding warmer air (or reducing cold) when the temperature is too low. That process reflects single-loop learning. Double-loop learning involves questioning the assumption about why the thermostat is set to sixty-seven degrees.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2 id="chapter-takeaways">Chapter Takeaways</h2>
<p>For completeness and my future reference, the authors suggest these takeaways</p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
<li><strong>Either/or thinking can lead us to get stuck in ruts.</strong> In response, we need both/and thinking that enables us to learn, develop and change. This set of tools seeks to help us enable vital and ongoing dynamics:
<ul>
<li>Experimenting with measured steps: Taking small, frequent, and low-cost steps to test new ideas, learn from feedback, and move forward allows us to push ahead even while still experiencing uncertainty.</li>
<li>Enabling serendipity: Through planned luck, we can better open possibilities for innovation and change. Through purposeful exploration, we can put ourselves in positions to experience or create opportunities, and in the mindset to engage them.</li>
<li>Learning to unlearn: Paradoxes are dynamic, asking us to constantly rethink and change what we know. To do so, we must be prepared to let go of our existing certainties.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<p>Note: I read this on Friday but due to a crazy busy day and weekend, it didn’t get posted until today. I deferred reading today in lieu of this post. Conveniently, tomorrow’s reading starts a whole new section of the book.</p>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgSmith, Wendy; Lewis, Marianne. Harvard Business Review PressBoth/And Thinking - Paradox System (Chapter 6)2023-05-18T19:20:00+00:002023-05-18T19:20:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/05/18/Both-And-Thinking-8<p>I’ve started reading <a href="https://bothandthinking.net">Both/And Thinking</a> and am capturing my thoughts here as I go. Right now these are mostly the raw notes as synthesis comes later. You may find it interesting to start with the <a href="https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/04/24/Both-And-Thinking-1">first post</a> in this series or to <a href="https://www.winglemeyer.org/navigation/tags/#Both-And-Thinking">read them all</a>.</p>
<p>Continuing with toolbox building, today’s reading, added the concept of becoming emotionally comfortable with the paradoxes. This section talked a lot about feelings I have normally associated with DEI conversations. As I read this, I felt like themes around psychological safety came up.</p>
<p>The core discussion was around the idea of belonging paradoxes. These are ones where there are “contradictory but interdependent elements in our roles, goals, memberships, values, personalities, and other aspects of our lives. Belonging paradoxes include tensions between our varied roles, such as those of parent and child, employee and family member, or subordinate and superior. They also include tensions between our past selves and our future selves.”</p>
<h2 id="putting-our-emotions-to-work">Putting Our Emotions to Work</h2>
<blockquote>
<p>Paradoxes trigger complex and conflicting emotional reactions. To open ourselves to tensions, we must move beyond focusing on our mindsets and thinking to be able to engage our heart.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>A key discussion followed around uncertainty, something I have personally felt very strongly when tackling paradoxes and their related tensions. The authors pointed out, in a way I hadn’t thought about it before, that uncertainly is not the sole cause of a defensive reaction and that it can be even be beneficial. “It can spark curiosity and open-mindedness, but it can also lead to more defensive closed-mindedness.”</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Ingrid Haas, professor at University of Nebraska–Lincoln, and William Cunningham, professor at University of Toronto, found that the different reactions to uncertainty depend on our level of threat. Greater threat drives us to respond to uncertainty with a more closed, narrow focus. We avoid the information or ideas that raised the uncertainty in the first place. That is, we turn to either/or thinking seeking to minimize the uncertainty, and thereby the threat.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Drawing from research and writings from a diverse audience tha includes The Buddha, the authors carefully note that, “the uncertainty created by paradox is inevitable. The detrimental outcomes from that uncertainty are optional.”</p>
<h2 id="building-in-a-pause">Building In a Pause</h2>
<p>There was a lot of discussion of breathing as a way of forcing focus. While I was never good at using this personally, I have found it helpful with my three-year old when she has not yet hit full uncontrolled tantrum.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Building in a pause gives us the chance to find a different reaction. Rather than a quick fight-or-flight response, we can consider other options.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Despite the cliche that “keep calm and carry on” has become, it is useful. Without calm we lose control of our inner world, the only one we can actually control. “One of the easiest and most effective strategies to keep calm and create a pause between stimulus and response is breathing.”</p>
<h2 id="accepting-the-discomfort">Accepting the Discomfort</h2>
<blockquote>
<p>To make sure the pause works for us, we need to first accept the underlying emotions, particularly the difficult emotions, that trigger us in the first place. Often our response to negative emotions is to reject and deny them, in hopes that they would go away; however, doing so only encourages them to come back even stronger. Instead, accepting and honoring these emotions allow them to fade.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>It is suggested that a concept of radical acceptance, if you will, is critical here because without acceptance we cannot move forward. Additionally, when we try to push something away and not think about it, we inevitably think about it. Often with larger or bigger ramifications. This is highly illustrated by Dostoevsky’s polar bear.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>[Daniel] Wegner’s research was inspired by Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky. In his book Winter Notes on Summer Impressions, Dostoevsky poses a question to the reader: “Try to pose for yourself this task: not to think of a polar bear, and you will see that the cursed thing will come to mind every minute.” Intrigued, Wegner asked participants in his studies to not think about a white bear. If you haven’t tried it before, you might want to consider trying it now. If so, put this book aside, set a timer for one minute, close your eyes, and tell yourself not to think about a white bear for one minute. See what happens.
As Wegner’s research found, and as we would guess, most of you thought about white bears (some people tell us that they decided that they would not think about white bears by thinking about brown bears instead). <em>Ironically, however, they often ended up comparing the brown bear to the white bear.</em> (emphasis mine)</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Another component of accepting the discomfort is to admit our struggles. The authors, who are clearly both close friends and research colleagues talk about how they can see the denial in each other. “Marianne gave me that look—the one that we reserve for when we catch ourselves going into either/or thinking. She then asked directly, “Wendy, what are you afraid of?” She knew that fear lay beneath my concerns. The opportunity to articulate my deeper emotions gave me some space to accept them rather than allow them to reflexively dictate my responses.”</p>
<h2 id="broadening-our-perspective">Broadening Our Perspective</h2>
<p>This section talked a lot about using positive psychology to open our minds and broaden our perspective. “Positive emotions such as joy, pride, contentment, and gratitude lead us to broaden our perspectives.”</p>
<p>This, of course, implies we need to shift from negative to positive emotions, something I personally can struggle with. While the authors do not give us many direct suggestions, they note that these strategies generally come down to: “(1) becom[ing] aware of when our negative emotions are taking control, and (2) know[ing] how to tap into our underlying positive emotions. Together, such purposeful practices work to flip our primary emotional drivers from the negative to the positive.”</p>
<p>While not needed for my notes, there is a discussion of some techniques, including gratitude journaling. I have struggled with this and found reading the research rationale for why it works useful.</p>
<p>A key suggestion though is to develop emotional ambivalence. Despite what you (and I) may initially think when we hear “ambivalence,” “[a]]mbivalence does not indicate uncertainty about our emotions but rather an acceptance of our multiple, conflicting emotions.” Why is this critical? Because, as the authors acknowledge, just trying to focus on the positive is simplistic and not really a solution. One has to accept that there are both positive and negative emotions that will come into play.</p>
<p>The power of emotional ambivalence in leaders and negotiations was discussed. This finding around its use in negotiations was particularly interesting as it succinctly illustrated how this technique not only helps you, but can advance others.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>[E]xpressing emotional ambivalence triggers negotiations that are more integrative. It turns out that if one party demonstrates emotional ambivalence, the other party feels as if they can have more influence in the negotiation and will be more involved in problem solving that promotes more discovery and development of integrative possibilities. The study suggests that engaging our complex emotions simultaneously may be more powerful than we think.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2 id="chapter-takeaways">Chapter Takeaways</h2>
<p>For completeness and my future reference, the authors suggest these takeaways</p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
<li><strong>Underlying paradoxes trigger discomfort—fear, anxiety, and defensiveness.</strong> Acting on those emotions can lead to narrow, more limiting either/ or thinking. To enable both/ and thinking, we need to address these negative emotions, while also sparking their positive counterparts by using three tools:
<ul>
<li>Building in pauses: By creating a space (taking a breath or a break to step briefly out of the situation) between our negative emotions and our reactions, we can honor the emotions without triggering a more immediate and often counterproductive reaction to paradox.</li>
<li>Accepting the discomfort: Trying to deny negative emotions can cause a rebound effect, a strengthening of the negative emotions. We can minimize the impact of our negative emotions by accepting them and submitting to them rather than trying to deny or bury them.</li>
<li>Broadening our perspectives: Reaching for positive emotions, such as the energy, wonder, and excitement of uncertainty, leads to expanded thinking, which spurs us to reach for further positive emotions. This feedback loop invites us to adopt a more open, both/ and approach to paradoxical tensions.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><strong>Navigating paradoxes is paradoxical—we need to engage with both negative and positive emotions (emotional ambivalence) to effectively respond to competing demands.</strong></li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<p>Note: As I have become wont to do, I will tell you about my coffee. Today was a bit odd, as seems to now be the norm. I needed to go to the ATM, so I decided to try a coffee shop on the 4th floor of the building that has the ATM. It has a nice view of the train station and I had never been there. The entire floor is kind of a half-grunge food-court, but at this point I knew it couldn’t be the worst coffee I have ever had.</p>
<p>I dutifully visited the ATM and used the escalators to the 4th floor where upon I discovered that the planned move of the main Post Office had completed. The 4th and half of the 5th floor, as of Monday, are now a brightly lit, collection of dozens of various postal service counters.</p>
<p>Slightly dejected, I started to make my way down and on the third floor I discovered the, in my opinion, hilariously paradoxical, Solárium Brno - StayNatural. It is a coffee bar with full proper espresso machine and a tanning studio. At 8:30 am it was quite empty and I ordered my coffee and read. They did finally get some tanning clients around 9:15 am. Your humble author is still living off the tan he got in Italy so he did not partake.</p>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgSmith, Wendy; Lewis, Marianne. Harvard Business Review PressBoth/And Thinking - Paradox System (Chapter 5)2023-05-17T18:54:00+00:002023-05-17T18:54:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/05/17/Both-And-Thinking-7<p>I’ve started reading <a href="https://bothandthinking.net">Both/And Thinking</a> and am capturing my thoughts here as I go. Right now these are mostly the raw notes as synthesis comes later. You may find it interesting to start with the <a href="https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/04/24/Both-And-Thinking-1">first post</a> in this series or to <a href="https://www.winglemeyer.org/navigation/tags/#Both-And-Thinking">read them all</a>.</p>
<p>Today’s reading, added to our paradox mindset toolbox with a discussion of using boundaries to contain tensions.</p>
<h2 id="linking-to-a-higher-purpose">Linking to a Higher Purpose</h2>
<blockquote>
<p>Building the scaffolding around paradox starts with identifying a higher purpose—the overarching reason, meaning, and direction that captures why we do something.</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p>Navigating paradoxes can be taxing. The uncertainty and ongoing conflict can wear us down. Purpose helps energize us. It reminds us why we do the work we are doing and can help us push through day-to-day challenges and find more commitment to the work.</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p>Paradoxes can also be divisive, as competing demands pull in opposite directions. In the face of those divisions, a higher purpose statement can serve to unify.</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p>Finally, a higher purpose allows us to raise our sights toward a far-off horizon which can help us work through short-term tensions. The ongoing struggle between opposing forces can be dizzying and destabilizing in the moment. When we are caught in such throes, the oscillations can feel like being on a boat in a storm, as the boat thrashes from one direction to the next. But looking out toward the distant horizon offers an inner calm amid the chaos.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Critically, this long-term view can help us stay away from the traps we have discussed already and either/or thinking.</p>
<h2 id="separating-and-connecting-competing-demands">Separating and Connecting Competing Demands</h2>
<p>There is a long-running story about an IBM GM, which is particularly poignant given that I work for an IBM company. This section focused on how creating either deliberate separation for the focus on the different sides of the paradox can help. Importantly though, you must also maintaining a connection between those efforts and the larger enterprise and the other side of the paradox.</p>
<p>You risk creating false dichotomies if you compartmentalize the sides too much as they can’t then inform each other. You can also fall into the trap of creating false synergies if you aren’t deliberate enough in sharing focus when you try to avoid separations because the short-term concerns will push out the long-term concerns.</p>
<h2 id="building-guardrails-to-avoid-going-too-far">Building Guardrails to Avoid Going Too Far</h2>
<p>Guardrails serve the dual purpose of keeping you from going to far in one direction and of fostering invention by creating constraints on potential options.</p>
<h2 id="chapter-takeaways">Chapter Takeaways</h2>
<p>For completeness and my future reference, the authors suggest these takeaways</p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
<li><strong>Boundaries are the structures, practices, and people that we put in place to support our ability to navigate paradox.</strong> We identify three core boundaries to help us engage more both/and thinking:
<ul>
<li>Higher purpose: An overarching statement of vision can motivate us to embrace tensions, unite opposite poles, and focus on the longer term to minimize the short-term chaos;</li>
<li>Separating and connecting: Structures, roles, and goals help us pull apart opposing demands, appreciate each demand independently, and bring them together to value their interdependence and synergies;</li>
<li>Guardrails: Structures can prevent us from going so far in the direction of one tension that we end up moving down a vicious cycle.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<p>Note: This chapter felt light on notes but was strong on concept. Sometimes you don’t need a lot of words. The narratives were great and felt very applicable. Today was also interesting because I read in a relaxation room in the office. While it worked, I think I prefer cafes.</p>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgSmith, Wendy; Lewis, Marianne. Harvard Business Review PressBoth/And Thinking - Paradox System (Chapter 4)2023-05-16T19:59:00+00:002023-05-16T19:59:00+00:00https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/05/16/Both-And-Thinking-6<p>I’ve started reading <a href="https://bothandthinking.net">Both/And Thinking</a> and am capturing my thoughts here as I go. Right now these are mostly the raw notes as synthesis comes later. You may find it interesting to start with the <a href="https://www.winglemeyer.org/ramblings/2023/04/24/Both-And-Thinking-1">first post</a> in this series or to <a href="https://www.winglemeyer.org/navigation/tags/#Both-And-Thinking">read them all</a>.</p>
<p>Today’s reading, which should have been yesterday’s reading was good, but for some reason was harder to digest. I don’t know if it was because I couldn’t get started, more below in the notes section, or if it was just general enough it didn’t feel directly actionable. That said, the book has been solid so far and this doesn’t cause me to want to stop reading it.</p>
<p>The reading was about trying to move to a Paradox Mindset, where you are forcing/changing yourself to think about paradoxes more intentionally. The theme of the chapter is very summed up in the quote that opened it:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution. —Maya Angelou</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This was reinforced by a reference to research by psychologist Paul Watzlawick who “once argued, [that] the problem is not the problem; the problem is how we think about the problem.” This is particularly challenging because “[e]ngaging with paradox often brings us to the limits of our rational thought. But learning to value and accept tensions helps us avoid oversimplifying our presenting dilemmas and instead to explore more creative alternatives.”</p>
<p>The idea of tension was explored in depth. Beyond just differences in our own sensitivities to tension, it was pointed out that different types of work have different levels of tension. “Tensions swirl all around us. Some people seek them out, purposefully surfacing tensions to enable more creativity. Others may avoid or ignore them to minimize potential conflicts. Yet even two people in the same situation can experience varying degrees of tension. In our own research, we found that people who all had the same job and worked in the same organization reported different levels of tensions.”</p>
<blockquote>
<p>[P]eople experience increased tensions in settings with (1) faster change, (2) greater plurality, or (3) more scarcity. The faster the pace of change, the more we experience tensions between what is and what will be. In terms of plurality, the more voices and perspectives from different people and stakeholders, the more we experience tensions between varied goals, roles, and values. And finally, the more that people experience a scarcity of resources, the more competition there will be over how the resources should be shared.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Moving to a paradox mindset means you can accept tensions as natural, valuable and energizing. This drives directly to changing the question from either/or to accommodating both … both/and.</p>
<p>A chart of differing level of engagement with tensions and their presence was presented. The key, as with many of these four-squares, is to get to the upper right, engaging zone, quadrant. This is the place where you are actively engaging with a both/and or paradox mindset to actual paradoxes or tensions you encounter. The authors’ research “found that the people in the engaging zone performed better at work. They were seen as more innovative and productive by their managers. Not only that, but they were also more satisfied with their jobs.”</p>
<p>The authors provide an online tool to test your mindset at https://paradox.lerner.udel.edu – I haven’t had a chance to use it yet.</p>
<p>The authors then walk through 4 parts of the paradox system:</p>
<h2 id="accepting-knowledge-as-containing-multiple-truths-not-one-truth">Accepting Knowledge as Containing Multiple Truths (Not One Truth)</h2>
<p>There is more than one lens of truth as opposites interact.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>But as Nobel Prize–winning physicist Niels Bohr purportedly reflected, “There are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This is further illustrated by the parable of the bline people and the elephant where each observer is convinced the elephant is wholly like the part they are touching. An 1800s John Godfrey Saxe poem about this parable is very apt here:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right
And all were in the wrong!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This component of all being wrong really struck me as I have often thought of it from the perspective of all being right without that chaser.</p>
<p>Another critical concept is the, borrowed from Improv, “Yes, and …” This activity sets up that you have to acknowledge someone else’s reality and build on it. This helps to prevent getting into ruts and building trench warfare situations.</p>
<h2 id="framing-resources-as-abundant-not-scarce">Framing Resources as Abundant (Not Scarce)</h2>
<p>This section was the hardest for me to get through. The opening section left me in disbelief, though they did make up for it quickly.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Many people approach these kinds of problems by looking for more effective ways to allocate resources—how to better slice the pie. This approach reflects a dichotomous mindset.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This felt very natural to me. Resources are by definition limited. But the authors started lose me when they followed it up with:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>A paradox mindset challenges this assumption about resources. What if resources are not zero-sum? What if we don’t have to be constrained by resources? What if we can expand their value? Rather than assuming that values are scarce, a paradox mindset involves assumptions about resources as abundant—we can expand their value through their use.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>However, they did ultimately provide some examples, which helped.</p>
<p>One was about splitting a pizza. If two people meet for dinner and decide to split a pizza, each paying 50% of the cost, how do you split the actual pizza. 50/50 may not be right if one party is hungrier than the other, especially if the hunger was caused by the less hungry party. What if there has always been an odd number of slices and one party has consistently gotten it in the past? “We are assuming that there is one dimension to the pie—slices—and that resource is fixed.”</p>
<p>However, this quote shows that you can “grow the pie” and quite nicely:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Let’s say you and I started talking about pizza on our way to the restaurant. Maybe we realized that you really like the inside of the pizza—the sauce, the cheese, the toppings. You always leave the crust behind. (You give a nod to a low-carb diet, but your preference is truly just a layover from your nine-year-old self.) Let’s say I’m not a toppings person at all; I’m vegan and won’t eat the cheese or meat anyway. I usually just pick it all off and eat the bread (I give a nod to French cuisine, but again, it’s a layover from my nine-year-old self.) From that information, we could think of a different way to split the pie; you get all the middle, and I get all the crust. Rather than each of us having four slices and only half the pie, we now each have a whole pie’s worth of the parts that we like to eat. Bazerman describes this approach as “growing the pie.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>A second example about turning one person’s trash into another person’s treasure was provided. The concept being that some folks know how to stretch a resource mightily.</p>
<p>The remainder of the section tried to show more examples. I was impressed by the end, but left feeing unable to apply this easily to the kinds of resources I encounter in my domain of problems. This is the first time this has happened with this book, which overall makes it still a great book.</p>
<h2 id="problem-solving-as-coping-not-controlling">Problem Solving as Coping (Not Controlling)</h2>
<p>In general we start by solving problems by trying to control the space. A paradox mindset moves us more into a space where we cope with the problems and other “chaos” swirling around them. This is even more important when you consider that paradoxes rarely if ever go away.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Throughout the book, we use language that reinforces this notion of coping, rather than controlling. We don’t talk about resolving paradoxes but instead describe navigating, engaging with, or leveraging them. Rather than talk about minimizing or resisting tensions, we speak of accepting and embracing them. Language is a first step to changing any underlying assumptions. But first, all of us must also recognize how hard it is to let go of control.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Here there is what feels like a bit of a sidebar discussion on the illusion of control that can arise when we think we can control random events. While interesting, it doesn’t merit much conversation here by me. That said, you should read it as it discusses the gambling game, craps, which everyone should play and understand once in their lives.</p>
<p>Leadership comes up in this section as leaders often solve or drive the solving of problems. “In their book The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, Ronald Heifetz, Alexander Grashow, and Marty Linsky at the Harvard Kennedy School distinguish between two types of problems—technical problems and adaptive challenges.” Technical problems may be complex or important but they have a known solution. “In contrast, adaptive challenges have no road map. They are messy, uncertain, emergent, and filled with competing demands. Adaptive challenges are paradoxical.”</p>
<p>There is a lovely definition of leaders vs managers:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>He contrasts leaders with managers, who often move quickly toward problem resolution in search of structure and stability. Managers seek control in the face of uncertainty; leaders learn to cope.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2 id="hanging-out-in-the-balcony">Hanging out in the Balcony</h2>
<p>This is an analogy about trying, at a dance, understand the movements of the group in response to stimuli such as the music and how people enter and exit the dance floor. This is difficult on the dance floor but easier to observe from the balcony above the floor. The core challenge is that you can’t affect the dancing from the balcony. Therefore, “the challenge is to move back and forth between the dance floor and the balcony, making interventions, observing their impact, and then returning to the action. The goal is to come as close as you can to being in both places simultaneously, as if you had one eye looking from the dance floor and one eye looking down from the balcony, watching all the action, including your own.”</p>
<h2 id="bonus-quote">Bonus Quote</h2>
<p>This anecdote, while useful to the narrative didn’t make my final notes cut, however if you have kids and are in a relationship it may resonate:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I told myself. “Who lets their kids watch hours of videos of other people playing video games?” (Apparently, the answer is that a lot of people do, given the number of hits on these videos.) Then, because I didn’t really want to call myself a terrible parent, I did what any unreasonable partner would do. I blamed my husband. If it wasn’t my fault, then I’d figure out some reason that it must be his.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2 id="chapter-takeaways">Chapter Takeaways</h2>
<p>For completeness and my future reference, the authors suggest these takeaways</p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
<li><strong>Assumptions form the mindsets and cognition that inform our action.</strong> A paradox mindset involves both experiencing tensions and reframing those tensions from an either/or (dichotomous) to a both/and (paradox).</li>
<li><strong>Both/and thinking begins with shifting our underlying assumptions in three areas:</strong>
<ul>
<li>Knowledge: from thinking about truth as a singular issue of right versus wrong to recognizing that multiple truths can coexist;</li>
<li>Resources: from thinking about scarcity to abundance, from how to slice the pie to designing creative approaches to increase the pie’s value and impact;</li>
<li>Problem solving: from desiring control to coping, recognizing that vital capabilities for navigating the uncertainty of paradox involve adaptability and learning.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<p>Note: For a variety of reasons this chapter was challenging. While part of it was that it, unlike the others I’ve read so far, didn’t really “grip” me at the outset, I can’t lay all of the problems at the authors feet. Instead I need to acknowledge that my head was swimming a bit on Monday and that my routine was broken. I’ve normally gone to a cafe to read after dropping my daughter off at school. But on Monday I got a haircut instead and the routine fell apart. It was interesting.</p>
<p>Today, when I finally finished it, I was in a cafe that I turned out not to like very much and that defaulted to putting milk (ick) in my iced coffee. I can’t fully blame the cow and kava for the lack of engaging chapter, but the world didn’t align for sure.</p>
<p>Some of you may also notice that this is being posted very late. While I did start on this much earlier, a very busy day prevented me from finishing sooner.</p>
<p>Suffice it to say I am happy to be moving on to a new chapter tomorrow.</p>Brian "bex" Exelbierdbex@pobox.comhttps://www.winglemeyer.orgSmith, Wendy; Lewis, Marianne. Harvard Business Review Press